Many parents don't know how to take it when their sons tell them they are gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, or questioning. Questions always arise and many parents ask themselves, "Did I cause my son to be gay?" "What could I have done differently?" It is a shock to some parents because they haven't had the time to think about what it means for them or their child. Parents might not be ready to discuss the issue just yet, but for their child that has "come out", they have had plenty of time to think it over, usually a period of many years where they have internally analyzed what it will mean for them.
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They have finally accepted themselves for who they are and feel comfortable enough to tell you who they really are. That takes a lot of courage. Your child is very brave to have told you because of the internalized fear that he might be rejected by you, his parents, and possibly other loved ones. Remember that he has chosen to tell you because he also loves you and wants you to be a part of his life. Also remember that your child is still your child and he is the same person he was yesterday.
Even if you feel like you are the only person that has a gay son, you are not. There are many parents whose sons are gay, bisexual or transgender. You are not alone. One important thing to do is to talk not only to your son, but also to others who understand and who are supportive of you and your gay son. If you need someone to talk to for support of any kind, seek out organizations that can help. Don't remain in silence. Break the stigma about homophobia by talking. At the bottom of this page is a list of organizations for parents to contact that can help by providing support along with publications discussing questions and answers for parents of gay, lesbian and bisexual people. |
 LOVE > HATE Poster from 'Greater Than AIDS' Campaign |
Before reading the publications or visiting the support links, watch the videos below of an accepting mother and her HIV+ gay son about their "Deciding Moments" from the "Greater Than AIDS" campaign. Also watch the documentaries below showcasing the love of parents for their children and how important that love really is.
Teresa's Deciding MomentWatch Teresa's Deciding Moment and then read about it at Greater Than's Deciding Moment page. What's your 'Deciding Moment'? Share it by clicking here
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Watch Teresa's 'Deciding Moment' and then share your's here!
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Marteniz's Deciding MomentWatch Marteniz's Deciding Moment and then read about it at Greater Than's Deciding Moment page. What's your 'Deciding Moment'? Share it by clicking here
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Watch Marteniz's 'Deciding Moment' and then share your's here!
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All God's ChildrenAll God's Children presents a social, political, and religious analysis of sexual orientation within the context of the traditional African-American values of freedom, inclusion, and the Christian love ethic. Through the voices of politicians, religious leaders, academics, family members, and activists, All God's Children vividly illustrates the human toll exacted upon society by the unspoken stigmatization and alienation of lesbians and gay men. Respected religious and political leaders, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Rev. James Forbes, Rev. Carol L. Murray, Congresswoman Maxine Waters, Senator Carol Moseley-Braun, Mayor Ken Reeves, and Cornel West call for spiritual reconciliation and a commitment to equal rights and social justice for all people.
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All God's Children from Garrett Lenoir on Vimeo. To learn more about these videos, or to download a free study guide, please visit either WomanVision.org or EyeBite.com. (Please be patient while the video downloads. It may take several seconds for the movie to start!) |
De Colores
De Colores is a bilingual 28-minutes documentary about how Latino
families are replacing the deep roots of homophobia with the even deeper
roots of love and tolerance. Through moving personal stories we learn
about how families are breaking cultural barriers and how love always
prevails.
De Colores es un documental bilingüe de 28 minutos mostrando como las familias y comunidades latinas están reemplazando la homophobia con la tolerencia y el amor. A través de historias personales aprendemos como familias rompen barreras culturales y como el amor siempre prevalece.
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De Colores from Garrett Lenoir on Vimeo. To learn more about these videos, or to download a free study guide, please visit either WomanVision.org or EyeBite.com. (Please be patient while the video downloads. It may take several seconds for the movie to start!) |
Straight From The Heart
Straight from the Heart explores parents' journeys to a new
understanding of their lesbian and gay children by presenting simple
stories about real people: a police chief who talks about how proud he
is of his lesbian daughter, a Mormon couple whose son is believed to be
the first gay man in Idaho to have died from AIDS, and a black woman and
her two lesbian daughters who had been accused of "catching" their
lesbianism from white people. This video clearly shows that prejudice
against gays and lesbians is a form of bigotry inseparable from other
manifestations of prejudice, particularly racism. Interviewees include
PFLAG's Mitzi Henderson; Edmond L. Browning, Presiding Bishop of the
Episcopal Church; Police Chief Tom Potter; and Michael Bussee, Founder
of Exodus International.
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Straight From The Heart from Garrett Lenoir on Vimeo. To learn more about these videos, or to download a free study guide, please visit either WomanVision.org or EyeBite.com.
(Please be patient while the video downloads. It may take several seconds for the movie to start!) |
PFLAG Publications
You can view and download free PDF versions of PFLAG's signature publications below by clicking the links to learn about different issues. For a full list of their resource publications and to visit their web-page, CLICK HERE
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Our Daughters and Sons: Questions and Answers for Parents of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People. One of our most popular publications, this is a "must read" for parents who are forming new and honest relationships with a loved one who has come out to them. This booklet answers several commonly-asked questions about having a gay child. It includes a list of related resources. Download a one-page summary of Our Daughters & Sons. |
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Faith in Our Families: Parents, Families and Friends Talk About Religion and Homosexuality. Discovering that a loved one is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender can pose new questions about your faith and may prompt you to re-evaluate beliefs that you previously took for granted. By using personal experiences, this publication provides examples for reconciling your faith with the knowledge that a loved one is gay. includes an updated list of gay and lesbian religious and spiritual groups to watch out for. Download a one-page summary of Faith in Our Families. |
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Welcoming Our Trans Family and Friends. Welcoming Our Trans Family and Friends is a resource for parents and friends of transgender and gender non-conforming adults and youth. This guide will help answer some of your questions and concerns. This publication provides information, resources and strategies on creating a safe space for transgender and gender non-conforming family and friends, as well as addressing your own feelings. |
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Be Yourself: Questions and Answers for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Youth. Today's youth face more social pressures than ever, especially since young people are coming out at increasingly younger ages. This publication offers a supportive approach to common questions asked by teens who may be questioning their sexual orientation. It also provides hotline numbers for teens and a list of resources. Download a one-page summary of Be Yourself. |
Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Publications
You can view and download free PDF versions of HRC's signature publications below by clicking the links to learn about different issues. For a full list of their resource publications and to visit their web-page, CLICK HERE
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Resource Guide to Coming Out for African Americans - 2004 People of color face unique challenges when they come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. To address these issues, the HRC Coming Out Project has developed a resource on coming out in the African-American community. To visit their web-page discussing this resource CLICK HERE |
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Guía de Recursos Para Salir Del Clóset - 2004
El Proyecto Nacional Para Salir del Clóset del HRC es un programa para promover honradez y franqueza sobre el ser gay, lesbiana, bisexual o transgénero en la universidad, en el trabajo y en la comunidad. Esperamos que la Guía de Recursos Para Salir del Clóset de la Human Rights Campaign sea un buen punto de partida en este tu viaje. People of color face unique challenges when they come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. To address these issues, the HRC Coming Out Project has developed a resource on coming out in the Latino & Latina community. To visit their web-page discussing this resource CLICK HERE |
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Resource Guide to Coming Out - 2004 HRC’s National Coming Out Project is an ongoing effort to promote honesty and openness about being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender on campus, in the workplace and in the community. As you experience the coming out process, remember one important thing – you are not alone. Others just like you, in towns and cities across the country and around the world, are on the same journey. We hope that the Human Rights Campaign’s Resource Guide to Coming Out is a good starting point for that journey. To visit their web-page discussing this resource CLICK HERE |
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Resource Guide to Coming Out - 2006 “A Resource Guide to Coming Out” is a comprehensive, downloadable publication of the Human Rights Campaign for young people and their caregivers who seek to understand the complexities involved in the coming-out process. The HRC Coming Out Project is a program designed to help gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people come out and start living openly. As coming out is a lifelong journey,the HRC Coming Out Project also helps GLBT people, as well as straight-supportive people, to live openly and talk about their support for equality at home, at work and in their communities each and every day. To visit their web-page discussing this resource CLICK HERE |
Support Links for Parents
Links to organizations for parents to contact that can help by providing support
Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)
Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) is a national organization that promotes the health and well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans-gender persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. PFLAG provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.
PFLAG was founded in 1981 by 25 parents. It now represents more than 60,000 households, and speaks for thousands of others.
CLICK HERE
PFLAG was founded in 1981 by 25 parents. It now represents more than 60,000 households, and speaks for thousands of others.
CLICK HERE
PFLAG Triangle - North Carolina Local Chapter
PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and trans-gender persons, their families and friends, through:
Advocacy: to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights
Support: to cope with an adverse society
Education: to enlighten and ill-informed public
CLICK HERE
PFLAG Triangle (Address)
PO Box 51776
Durham, NC 27717
Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill (919) 434-3080 | Rocky Mount (252) 443-0345
The PFLAG Support Group meets every month at 7:30 P.M. on:
Advocacy: to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights
Support: to cope with an adverse society
Education: to enlighten and ill-informed public
CLICK HERE
PFLAG Triangle (Address)
PO Box 51776
Durham, NC 27717
Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill (919) 434-3080 | Rocky Mount (252) 443-0345
The PFLAG Support Group meets every month at 7:30 P.M. on:
LGBT Center of Raleigh
To strengthen individual and community development through social and educational activities; to facilitate the incubation of supportive services and groups; and to identify needs and advocate for resources benefiting the diverse population of lesbian, gay, trans-gender and bisexual people, their friends and supporters within and beyond central North Carolina.
LGBT Resource Helpline: Sun-Thu 6:30p-9:30p (919)-747-4123
Hopeline: A 24 Hour Youth Crisis Line (919)-231-4525
Toll Free: 1-877-235-4525
CLICK HERE
LGBT Resource Helpline: Sun-Thu 6:30p-9:30p (919)-747-4123
Hopeline: A 24 Hour Youth Crisis Line (919)-231-4525
Toll Free: 1-877-235-4525
CLICK HERE
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN)
GLSEN, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, is the leading national education organization focused on ensuring safe schools for all students. Established in 1990, GLSEN envisions a world in which every child learns to respect and accept all people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. GLSEN seeks to develop school climates where difference is valued for the positive contribution it makes to creating a more vibrant and diverse community.
CLICK HERE
CLICK HERE
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This education awareness project is sponsored by the
LGBT Center of Raleigh. Created and designed by Luke Keeler. |
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Page last updated: 04/01/17
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